I am close friends with my Shadow, I am the first one she runs to for understanding and help....
==========================
One of our EFW members practicing self-awareness into the mechanics behind early attachment and unintentional sabotaging with men---said this,
"Shadowy things I have recently become acutely aware that I am doing:
• Measuring my own growth SOLELY by external factors such as other people's reactions to me or other people's feedback, rather than by the combination of feedback + how I feel about myself and my life
• Throwing self-pity parties
• Thinking I need to have it all figured out right NOW and needing certainty where certainty cannot be given
• Thinking I need to give an answer the moment a question is asked. Not giving myself space to access my heart.
• Pressuring myself to be "perfect"
• Wanting to control outcomes (though I am gradually getting better at not acting on that desire)• Harboring anger and projecting judgement on all men based on past experiences/incorrect perceptions about men."
How activated is your shadow with men? How about lately? What might be behind any leaning forward or chasing men in your life? Any pining and obsessing? Any allowing of boundaries to be crossed or crumbs given? Any shutting him down or walling up when it feels like you didn't even mean to?
You are always loved,
EFW Team