"So You Don't Need a Man?" He asked her
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That is a quote one of our women clients told us she was asked by a man that triggered her to come work with us. They had been connecting, and right before pulling away, he asked her, "So you are really independent right? You don't really need a man or masculine presence in your life?" He then pulled away.
Masculine men need to be needed by their women like they need oxygen.
We've lost count of how many of our EFW clients tell us their men, which they've attracted using our programs, tell them, "I just want to do anything to make you happy."
What a man wants most is your vulnerable heart, your embodied love for yourself, your feminine energy, and your receptive appreciation.
He wants to know he can be "THE MAN" in your life.
WE women have been hurt and have so many reasons to feel fearful of a man coming towards us. WE have had to filter bad men from good men and going through heartbreak. Men have their pain too, similar, yet different.
When a really quality man appears, he usually takes the masculine protecting, providing role.
Now a woman might be so touched and have feelings for this man, that in an effort to keep his interest she tries hard to lean back but does it through her fears, wounding, basically in her shadow.
She subconsciously tries so hard not to lean forward and be needy, that she is constantly sending a subconscious message to him telling him she doesn't need him.
>>>He offers to come to pick her up, she says, "Oh let's meet halfway, don't want you to drive all the way here."
*Translation: "I am so not used to receiving like this I am afraid to take too much from you and lose you, or you will lose interest."
Man thinks, "Wow, she doesn't need me, doesn't have room for what I can provide, I don't feel like a man." (turn off)
>>>He might call and ask how she is doing and in an effort to prove she is liked and has a full life, she is always telling him,
"Oh my best friend (male) and I talked for hours yesterday, he was so funny, we are going to this concert together!"
Then she hangs up on him quickly (has to seem "busy" after all) cutting the conversation short.
*Translation: "I am afraid of how much I need him, I have to receive little by little so he isn't overwhelmed. I want him to know I have others who care about me and that I am happy and healthy, so as to appear more attractive."
-He thinks, "Wow, hours with her male friend, minutes with me, she is obviously taken care of by others, there is no room for what I provide here, therefore there is no room for me." Hero instinct repelled.
These defense mechanisms are designed in a woman's subconscious to tell a man, "I DON'T NEED YOU" as a way of hiding her feelings and "playing harder to get" and/or because she is afraid of just how much she needs him and afraid if he knows this, he will lose interest.
It may also be her anger at men playing out- her anger at how much she still desires a male companion even after all the real heartbreak she has endured, so she pushes love away to test a man however a quality man won't bite.
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SHE IS NOT IN HER RECEPTIVE, FEMININE ENERGY AND THIS REPELS MEN.
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Her neediness and her real vulnerable needs for a man are enmeshed (she needs inner work!)
>>> He calls and offers to fix a leak in her roof, she says, "Oh don't worry about it, I've got some handymen coming, I'm good."
Instead of letting herself feel what she really feels-which is..
"Wow, you would do that for me! That just totally lit me up! I am smiling! Sure, please come over handsome!"
And saying THAT would go a LONG way to triggering his Hero instinct and love for her.
Sharing a lot of happy and grateful emotions and speaking them to him in this way would nourish his masculine soul.
Another way to say it would be:
"Oh thank you! That means so much to me that you would want to take care of that for me! My hero!"
>>>Trigger his Hero Instinct fast with that one.
Leaning back IS NOT about performing, pretending, shutting down a man's masculine energy- it is about creating space for " what is"......and sometimes beautiful you might not even be aware you are shutting a quality man you like out.
Then how women compensate- and here's the clincher= is that they repel him by shutting our need for him and not being receptive- and then they begin to lean forward by calling him, texting him, leading, pursuing him and taking on the masculine role!!!
Then he pulls away fast!!! and it's over!
You see?
Leaning forward is what we do when we are afraid of our feminine and afraid of how much we need a masculine presence.
Needing is vulnerable. Needy is self-disconnection.
Leaning back in its truest form is about being open and vulnerable to the right man, receiving, appreciating him, AND when not with him taking amazing care of you.
And feeling good about that on the inside bc you've done the healing inner work on it (if you need to do powerful, healing inner work on all of this, our programs are the best in the world hands down- pm Mentor Lauren, Mentor Erika Getchell or Mentor Christy Acuna.)
When a man, a masculine man, does not feel needed, he does not feel received, he does not feel SEEN as a man. HE NEEDS TO BE NEEDED for what he wants to contribute, provide, and give to your life.
We teach you the art of Feminine Receiving that inspires men to want to give to you more and more, protect you (take a bullet for you), and bring generous, quality, reliable, beautiful, protective, rock-solid masculine energy into your life!
You are always loved,
Gio