WHEN WE TEACH YOU THE CONCEPT OF ACCEPTING OR REJECTING WHAT A. MAN HAS TO OFFER, WITHOUT FORCING HIM TO CHANGE OR BE DIFFERENT, YOU ARE IN. THE HIGH VALUE WOMAN STATE- BUT WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "ACCEPTING" OR "REJECTING" A MAN AND DATING A MAN WHO HAS IMPERFECTIONS YOU CAN GROW WITH?
OUR LOVELY EMBODIED FEMININE WOMAN MENTOR NADA WRITES,
“ACCEPT OR REJECT” IS ABOUT NOT GAMBLING YOUR FUTURE AND HAPPINESS ON A MAN CHANGING CORE TRAITS. CAN YOU ACCEPT THE CORE OF WHO HE IS? THERE’S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ENDURING HARDSHIP TOGETHER, STICKING BY ONE ANOTHER IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY OR A PERIOD OF WEAKNESS, EMBRACING DIFFERENT SEASONS OF RELATIONSHIP — AND WAITING FOR A MAN TO ALTER INTEGRAL PARTS OF HIS CHARACTER. CHARACTER ISN’T STAGNANT BUT IT’S NOT EASILY ALTERED EITHER. STRUGGLES AND PATTERNS CHANGE WITH THE MONTHS AND YEARS ALL OF THE TIME.
Women ask often at what point is it ok to start giving to a guy-
Texting him
Pursuing him
or cooking of him....
Before we establish that, let's do a reframe.
YOU BEING YOU, radiant, warm, receptive energy, your appreciation, your emotional response when a guy does something for you (when you light up, smile, are happy).... IS GIVING TO A GUY.
The space you create around you through beingness where he can be himself, open up, have play, have loads of fun, be the man, lead, win with you, deliver to you, plan, etc.
IS GIVING TO A MAN.
YOU LEANING BACK IS GIVING TO A MAN- safety, space, allowing him to lead.
He is nourished by that deeply.
Stop thinking that the only way to give is through masculine energy, through acts, doing or service.
BEINGNESS is first and foremost what men want from the Feminine.
The comes the other things, like cooking etc, when the relationship is more established and there is healthy polarity, stemming from strong self-esteem!
Our wonderful Embodied Feminine Woman Institute Mentor Lauren puts it well:
”Respect from a man looks like:
He respects your time - he'll have a good mix of plans in advance and spontaneous fun same day invites, however you'll feel your time is respected and considered.
Focuses on you when you are together - not on his phone, or ogling the waitress or using the date to complain for ages about his ex, he's focused, present, curious about you.
He doesn't send late night texts or "You up?" at 2am and push for sex, without investment (you want to ignore these, no response needed. Great boundaries are often set with non-responsiveness.)
He won't be an open book turning a woman into his therapy session by sharing extensively on trauma on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd date or need to know all about your own so fast (you want to watch out for trauma-bonding or creating a connection based on this type of emotional intensity- you don't need it in a healthy connection.
He will give you space in between texts/ a date - isn't going to be needy, claim he's in love with you right off the bat without getting to actually know you, he won't pressure you, demand a reply or make you feel bad for having a life (he won't be reactive)
He won't be upset if you have plans already, or need a self care night, he'll be supportive and have some of his own.
He will pace slowly - his heart might take over in having a lot of attraction and feels for you, but his masculine grounding will want to pace things and slow him down-- this is a REALLY good thing."
-Mentor Lauren
Men "don't feel" as much or "don't have as many emotions" is the biggest myth propagated around by women who don't know men or their inner lives and so project on to them this myth.
Men are EXACTLY AS feeling as we are, with as many emotions. Their inner worlds much like our own. Theyy tend to be more sensitive and in their masculine, and we tend to be more emotionally labile and femininely expressive.
The man you are dating has profound and deep, daily inner feelings- and quality men are seeking the one woman who they can open up to just as much as we are.
You are always loved,
Gio
Repost from 2017, still good... came up on my feed today.
"I don't feel I did or said anything wrong." Words spoken in a dying relationship.
How about these instead?
"I want to understand what you needed in that moment?"
~ Gio
WHY IS LETTING GO SO HARD?
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A woman in our groups asked or rather said, "It's painful to let go.
And it's painful to hold on."
Truer words were never spoken yet here is a fundamental truth.
YOU CANNOT CONTROL YOUR HEART OR HOW YOU FEEL. Anyone who tells you otherwise is teaching you to bypass yourself.
You can't tell yourself to stop having feelings for someone. You can't force yourself to let go, or stop holding on.
Here's the powerful, freeing truth of how to support your heart and happiness:
You don't have to let go or hold on, you just give yourself the gift of options, the gift of healing, the gift of powerful support and focus on going after what makes you truly happy, everything else will fall into place.
Until you learn you can have a part of you be allowed to be to pine and to feel what it feels, while other parts of you are building strength, attracting abundance in exciting quality options with men, healing deeply at your core, reclaiming profound self love and expanding into a happy, truly fulfilled life (all of which we work on in our programs)- instead of trying so hard to fight yourself for pining, or clinging to a man or having feelings for him, nothing can move forward solidly. You'll be split, confused, sabotaging yourself.
We cannot control what we feel, there is no way. You see the heart doesn't exist in the world of control. WE have tried to control our heart, to control love as the language of love and failed miserably.
We can offer our lives exciting, quality options, so that our heart feels th safety and incredible encouragement and hope in options.
In that process, our heart becomes itself, because it begins to feel safe, no longer in survival it begins to naturally let go without our effort, it feels happy, strong, free- and doesn't need to meet it's needs trough control, co-dependence and uneahlthy attachment.
That's when we become radiant and re-attract an ex or a better man for us where our heart will natural shift it's feelings and it will feel effortless.
Your job is not to change your heart's feelings, you can't. Your job is to provide love to yourself, kindness and wise leadership through abundance and a beautiful life for yourself, and to provide spaces that bring healing- and the heart will do what it was designed to do.
The way these two women are hugging below is the way I want you to hold your heart and help it, rather than try to change it, control it, judge it or force it.
IT ISN'T SO MUCH LETTING GO, AS WHAT EXCITING HAPPINESS YOU ARE LEADING YOURSELF TO.
If you aren't leading somewhere, then naturally all your heart will want is to hold on to something it thought contained all the power to give it it's happiness. Don't fight your heart, understand it and then move to give it what it needs.
Keys to the kingdom right there.
You are always loved,
Gio
I Wish I had an incredible Man who loved me & was devoted to me. I wish I felt more confident, feminine and beautiful. I wish I had more support, help, guidance. I wish......
Beauties, turn your I WISH into I WILL.
I wish leads you nowhere.......it makes you victim of chance, of coincidences, of maybe with a long shot added to it. It makes you waste years, leads you to sadness, depression, loneliness..... I wish is what a helpless child says.
I will is what a powerful, resourceful, radiant woman says.
What do you need to own, do, commit to, invest in to simply make it happen for your life? Do you have your own back or are you abandoning yourself?
You can have it all when you turn your I Wish, into "I will" and then use the powerful resourcefulness within you to take every little step until you have what you desire.
I WILL HAVE THE LOVE I DESIRE WITH AN AMAZING MAN. I WILL FEEL CONFIDENT, FEMININE, BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE I AM. I WILL RECEIVE AND LOOK FOR THE EXACT GUIDANCE AND SUPPORT I NEED ALONG MY JOURNEY BECAUSE I AM WORTHY OF IT. I WILL.
You are always loved,
Gio
COMMUNICATING FROM YOUR FEMININE WITH MEN IS NOT ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE ELSE'S ANSWERS AND TRYING HARD TO FIT INTO A BOX.
It is about learning how to connect with another human being and sharing your heart's warmth, being interested in getting to know him and sharing honesty. It's knowing the fundamental difference between showing interest and not leaning forward. Between creating magnetic connection vs clinging. Generating a safe space to be seen and both of your true selves to connect vs judging, closing off or leading with heavy expectations.
THE PROBLEM IS DRY, MASCULINE TO MASCULINE COMMUNICATION. AND.... IT IS ONLY A PROBLEM IN THAT A MAN IS ALREADY IN HIS MORE DRY, UNFEELING, WORLD- HE ISN'T LOOKING FOR ANOTHER MASCULINE ENERGY.
THAT IS ALL. DO WE WANT TO STAY IN OUR HEAD, COLD,, GUARDED, ALOOF, HIDING, INVISIBLE, UNSEEN, PROTECTIVE, QUICK TO JUDGE, REACTIVE WITH MEN? Or have fun, be open, social, playful, warm, bright, radiant, expressive, YET CONNECTED TO HIM while doing it which basically means simply: knowing how he is feeling, knowing where he is at, knowing what to accept and reject, being in tune with the moment and not tone deaf (tone deaf = leaning forward)?
You are always loved,
Gio
Speaking to a client with a funnel of men that is on fire-we talked about how she quickly filtered out a man she'd gone on a few dates with prior to working with us, once she began attracting real, solid, masculine men, and her remarks were how easy it was.
You see this man she had been seeing for a few weeks was playing a lot of games-
-Playing hard to get (telling her things he didn't mean just to test her or show her how little he cares, when in fact he was acting very needy.)
"I usually never go to a woman's house you know, they come to me." Then calling her every day, following her around and asking to come over (Covid put a stop to that, ofcourse.)
-Pretending he was busy (showed up to a date and pretended to need to take a call to appear busy, when he doesn't do very much or have very much going on career-wise - don't ask how we know he was pretending, but we know 📷
-Kept looking for her approval instead of just connecting with her (fishing for compliments and power games instead of just being relaxed, solid, masculine.)
-Also kept looking for mothering.With all the quality new men courting her, filtering out a man like this was easy.
A year ago? She would have clung to a man like this SO hard, he would have played so many games and she would have gotten early attached to the idea of him and not the real him.
Here's the truth beauties- game playing is what we do when we don't have much of anything to offer, whether we are a man or a woman.
When a man doesn't live his life connected to his mission or purpose and doesn't know himself, he reverts to games like these. So do we women in the same scenario.
Game playing is what we do to fill the gaps of the work we didn't do on ourselves to become solid, have a solid life, and a lot to offer a partner.
What does a High Value Woman do?
She doesn't play hard to get- she has high standards because she stepped up for herself, for her life and offers a lot of value to a partner because of it.
She doesn't pretend to be busy when in fact she doesn't have many options of men, doesn't have much going on in life and hasn't deal with any of it. Her life is FULL and beautifully imperfect, but fulfilling.
She doesn't hungrily search for his approval when she's only known him a few weeks, she approaches dating confident, comfortable in herself and openhearted. She wants to be herself and no-one else, and connect with a man who is himself.
We as women can smell a man pretending to be HV a mile away, so can men smell a woman like this miles away!
If you want real love, be the real deal, attract the real deal. I'm excited for this client= she is slaying the dating game.
Is slaying still even a word? I've got to get with the times.😂😂😂
When you are self-loving and in healthy relationship to life and men = you are solid. This is when you are so attractive and magnetic, you don't need to resort to silly games. Leave that to the kids.
You are always loved,
Gio
If you don't feel inspired to keep texting, then don't. Amazing things happen when you drop the ball, and pick up your own light. The right men will step up and step in. Lean back and let men step up. Your radiance needs to go to the man that deserves it, not wasted on a man that does not offer you something valuable. Your energy is precious and limited. Let it flow where it is received.
You are always loved,
Gio