Yesterday I was speaking to a client of mine who came to me single and is now in a Soulmate relationship with a truly amazing man.
She recently moved to San Diego to live with him. He is a quality man that drove all the way to her state to pack all of her belongings, and then drive them back to SD for her.
He has told her he wants to marry her and is already making plans in that direction.
Here is what happened
As my client moved to San Diego, she moved into his smaller apartment with him as he is in the process of buying a bigger house but lived alone in his apartment prior to being with her. So I told her from the beginning...
The move will be hard on anyone, you will be tempted to complain, feel out of place in San Diego and the house will not be to your standards- be patient! It is temporary.
Anyway, she didn't quite listen to what I said, pushing to move out of the apt every single day into a much bigger apt, complaining about feeling like a stranger in SD, complaining about a myriad of things, getting super stressed out.....
Instead of focusing on all the gratitude she felt for everything he did for her, (even getting into a street trash bin to search for her makeup bag which she had accidentally thrown away while unpacking her things)
So when I saw her last week, expecting her to have done what I had suggested and their relationship more solid than ever, she instead let me know she had seen him looking very deflated and at one point gently said to her, "Listen you seem very unhappy, why don't we move you back to your home state, get you comfortable and then when I buy the house we can move you back."
Code for a man saying, "no matter what I do, it is never enough. I feel like I can't win, I feel like I've failed in bringing you here, all that work was not appreciated, and now she is unhappy every day, I just need to make sure she is ok and end this situation practically and I don't know if I can do this."
So I called an "urgent intervention!" and told her for the next week she would:
- Lean back on any talk of being unhappy
- She would 100% drop the talk of moving out and pushing for a new place and trust his timing for his buying a place for them.
- She would focus on everything he was doing right and use deep feeling messages to tell him how much it meant to him.
- She would start receiving the beauty of San Diego and enjoying her time at the beach, the ocean, the sun, and all the amazing things (and ooo and aaah) and exclaim about how wonderful it was to be there in SD and there WITH HIM.
- She would be extra affectionate and sensual and it worked like a charm. A happy woman is the best gift to a man, her sweetness like heaven, her light energy feeling great to him and her expressiveness amazing.
Now he is back to finding solutions for their new house and will move shortly.
Pushing and forcing don't work with men, constant complaining and unhappiness don't either.....of course, you want to be yourself, and voice when you don't feel good, but make sure it doesn't go to leaning forward, pushiness and forcefulness.
You are always loved,