From my cohost Justin Devonshire In our Men's Group: Modern Masculinity:
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"A conversation with a female friend about relationships the other day...

Her: “Things haven’t been working out with my boyfriend for a while, why do I keep attracting the same kind of guy? He’s lazy, plays video games all day, doesn’t make decisions etc,”
Me: (giving input because I do know her and her partner quite well and understand their situation) : “There a plenty of factors, but because this isn’t a ‘coaching session’ I’ll strip it down to one basic - he’s been too feminine. And you’ve been too masculine.”
Her: “What’s wrong with being feminine?!” 😡
Me: Nothing. Being TOO feminine is the problem. I.e- out of balance.
Her: “That doesn’t make sense..”
Me: Ok, water is good for you right? Well what if you drank TOO much water, like 15 gallons in the next hour. Would that not be a problem?
Her: “ah I see...”
Me: He’s stepped into the role of receiver, and you into the role of provider. Which is the opposite to how nature intends it.
Women are the predominant receivers, of love, affection, sex, desire, vibration, emotion, senses, and intuition. Women crave to be in their intuition allowing the flow of life.
While men are the predominant providers of protection, physical strength, material items, building and creation. Men crave to be using their gifts of intention & strength to create, to build and to serve women who’ll receive them.
Her: “So you’re saying women can’t build things or have intention?”
Me: Again, think water. Just because I said you could drink water doesn’t mean you can’t drink lemonade.
Her: “...so how do I make him be more masculine and find more ambition and drive?”
Me: You can’t. But you can help yourself become more feminine, allowing, and give him the space to step into his masculine role.
Her: how?

Me: -> By letting him make decisions.
-> By not making him feel inferior for not making a decision.
-> By not acting like his mom.
-> By not cleaning up after him.
-> By allowing him the opportunity to create something for himself. And not immediately stepping in to take charge when he doesn’t.

Her: “...but what if I give him that space, and work on me, and he doesn’t step up..?”
Me: “You already know the answer to that. If you’ve given him the space... and you’ve shown support and encouragement for him to step into it... and he still refuses to take responsibility...
Then you’re building a life with a low value man. Either that’s your standard, or you create a new standard - that you’ll only give your time and energy to a high value man that does meet your standards.”

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