I'm going to share with you ladies a lot of lessons I share with my clients- take note and keep coming back to this post-
These things are so proven- time and time again.
Actions- work better with men.
The thing is as women we love words, we love to talk, to process, to communicate with each other. We share everything, we want to merge with other sisters- share our lives and much more----->
That we often bring that to our relationships with men.
2 ways here I want to focus on today:
1. Fantasy Relationships-
Few things are as painful as waking up to the reality that the relationship you thought existed, was only in your mind and not the actual reality.
You got head of him, or thought he was more in, or were waiting and waiting and waiting, leaving your life behind while waiting for him to one day show up.
There are a lot of way in which we miss clues and we miss red flags, and we just generally miss the real picture- and again it goes back to words and thoughts over actions. Getting addicted to the feelings the fantasy gives us and not actions- which tends to feel counter intuitive especially as we teach you to feel over doing.....
Here's the thing though, for many reasons, a few being a missing father, not enough love in the home growing up, our own fears of intimacy, our own fears of being alone and our own fears of rejeciton- we can create a fantasy relationship with a man.
Where he doesn't act- we FILL IT IN with a fantasy-often staying in these fantasy relationships for years-
With a married man
An ex that never reappears but we are convinced he is our "soulmate"
That guy you have a crush in you are just waiting on.
And on and on----->
Like a female client of mine who had been in love 3 times- and every times she had been in love with a man for 5 years, and none of those men were ever her boyfriend or partner- ongoing fantasy relationships in her mind, all sorts of exchanges and feelings going on- in reality the man never investing and pursuing other women.
You know how it goes- it is so prevalent for us as women- an easy trap we can fall into.
To safeguard yourself here you have to work on codependence issues, possible love addiction issues and all the core pain and wounding that would surface from this through inner work that has you repeating these patterns of being fantasy/early attached to unavailable love.....
AND you have to shift, radically, into looking at men's actions over anything they say, or any feeling you fill in the gap with.
They can a talk, you can fantasize, you can imagine- but at the end of the day--> ACTIONS, ACTIONS, ACTIONS, speak in the language of men. Period. Is he investing? Then you know.
2. Actions work, words fall short-
How many ultimatums have you seen a woman give a man? She flies off the handle, berates, her anger fuming- yet he doesn't change and neither does she.
The real core issues don't change- she doesn't step up for herself and step up the way she shows up with men (from low value= disempowered ---> to high value =empowered).
She goes on being clingy, or needy or continues with low value or relationship sabotaging patterns, and self esteem behaviors, neglecting her life and needs, and he remains unchanged, uninspired and unwilling.
You want a man to respond? Drop the words, the passive aggression, the angry texts, the ultimatums, the games, the pursuing- and go WIDE into meeting YOUR needs, taking amazing care of you, healing emotionally, opening up abundant options of men so you never again settle- pull that energy back on YOU and watch that speak more loudly than anything you can ever say.
Actions, boundaries, self esteem, high value, self care, feminine energy- when embodied is power and power leads to change and to the desires of your heart.
We are so used to being disempowered, we have been so alone in the lack of support and proper mentorship and parenting, we have really been doing so much of this so alone that's its no wonder we end up heart broken and stuck-
......but it doesn't have to be that way- and it isn't for the hundreds of women we are working with who go on to attract dream love fast and more importantly fall so deeply in love with themselves they break patterns like these.
We not only teach you step by step how to become a fully empowered, embodied, feminine woman, but we hold your hand and blow on the spark in your heart until it becomes a full blazing glorious woman, irresistible and magnetic in her power.
So remember, words fall short- nothing says "low value: like a woman with a lot of talk and no action on her behalf, same with a man. Look at a man's actions and take actions on your behalf that come from the healthiest, most loving and empowered self within you.
You are always loved,
#bought this dress below by the way because goals.