Author -- Giordana Toccaceli
How are you doing? Where are you finding yourself in love at this moment?
Are you more single than ever?
Are you going on promising dates? Are you deepening an incredible connection with the man you love?
You know the more I do this- relationship and intimacy coaching that is, the more I realize how much power you, as a woman have, to create your love destiny.
Today I want to talk about one of my most recent clients, you are going to be deeply encouraged by this story.
A BILLIONAIRE DIVORCEE AND THE WOMAN WHO HAS HIS HEART
The first time I met June in our discovery session, sitting in front of me was a woman who was struggling with so much anxiety.
June shared with me how she had struggled with chronic anxiety since she was a child and how afraid she was that her emotions were going to sabotage her relationship. She felt like there were parts of her out of control that she had to suppress or else be abandoned.
"I keep things in Gio, keep them in until I explode and when I do that he distances himself from me."
June had been dating this highly successful man for over a year, but when she came to see me he wouldn't give her much of his time anymore. At that point he was only making time for her once a week, if that.
She wanted him to come so much closer to her but there was an intangible distance between them.
She painfully shared with me that he had recently told her that he was about to launch a big business venture and that he felt he couldn't both do a business launch and a relationship well... so that meant she wouldn't be seeing much of him for the next 3 months.
As she told me this, I immediately knew he was pulling away from her- she was pushing him away with the way she was showing up.
Her anxiety, self worth, and dramatic and erratic emotions would easily do that.
The problem is, and I am sure you can all relate to this as women, when you are in a situation like this where you really love a man it can easily make you feel so vulnerable and when that happens it is very difficult to navigate the relationship with a guy or your man alone without sabotaging it- this is because we weren't ever meant to do it alone.
I also immediately had this knowing that if June would heal her soul, allow her feminine radiance to shine and understand him deeply as a man, we would not only turn this around extremely fastbut he would get to the point where he couldn't live without her.
Anyway, June told me how hopeless she felt, how much she was struggling with thinking her chronic anxiety would never heal and how doomed she felt.
Another interesting thing is that June let me know that she had never felt loved. People could tell her left and right how loved she was and it never seemed to enter into her heart.
This is the result of living inauthentically and with no vulnerability. We are trying so so hard to get love that we put on an image we think will please people, will make them happy-
But think about it- if you are always in your persona or image--- then no matter how much people thank you or appreciate or love you, you know it is the persona they are loving--- not you.
I knew we would have to uncover the root sources of anxiety at work with June and heal them.
As women we can easily get in to relationships and have all of our issues, fears, rejection trauma surface.
When that happens we grasp on to our man and start trying to get him to love us more, which only pushes him away. Then the more unwanted and desperate we feel......the more we grasp on, show drama, etc.
Instead of showing up as Goddesses, we are begging for love and bankrupting the love in our relationship.
Asking a man to spend more time with you, when it isn't coming from him, from his deep desire- is a sure-fire way to brush over the real issue-
-how WE are showing up.
Are You Work Or Home For A Man?
"This is how a man takes you completely into every part of his life." Giordana Toccaceli
Now I want to highlight something June's man said to her and bring it to your attention.
He said, "I can't do BOTH a business launch AND a relationship."
I'm going to tell you exactly what that means in Manspeak.....
He is saying, "I can't do both work and come home to work."
A woman in her masculine who is at war with her own self-rejection becomes heavy work for a man.
So a man comes home exhausted and becomes more exhausted.
June wanted so badly to see him regularly and craved his presence but she kept spiraling into feeling unimportant and alone.
She felt scared, desperate, lonely, resentful and angry at him yet she was terrified of losing him.
1. So first order of business was to do some deep healing and integrating soul work. She had to experience peace within herself (for the first time in her life) and begin experience true self-love....deep abiding self-love ---- the core of radiance as a woman.
2. Next I had to teach her male psychology, to learn to see the world as he sees it.
She had to learn that men and women speak 2 different languages and that this had her misinterpreting his actions left and right as rejection and abandonment, instead of love and devotion.
As soon as she began seeing the world through his eyes and stepping into his shoes she began experiencing major appreciation, love, compassion and empathy for him.
So for example- one day she was lamenting at how much her man worked (and neglected her). I shared with June how week after week I coach men who tell me with broken hearts how unappreciated they feel...why?
Because men are taught from youngsters that how they provide is how they love.
So for a man, going to work IS showing his woman LOVE!!!
He is taking on burden and responsibility to ensure she is ok. So when a woman rejects him for this, he feels like a failure.
I've had so many men say, "I worked all the time and she would just get angry at me."
It takes a process and a specific way of speaking to men through our Feminine so they can hear us and know what we need. We need to stop resenting and start deeply appreciating and learning HOW to communicate.
So I helped June to see his work wasn't competition, it was devotion. I also shared with her that the more feminine she became the more she would see this change without doing ONE thing or saying ONE thing to change it.
3. Thirdly we reprioritized self care and happiness for June. What were her passions? Her dreams? What was her self-care and wellbeing going to look like? This was so her energy and vibe increased and radiated.
The Power of Your Feminine Soul & Her Relationship Transformed...
Well a week ago, in our 8th session, June sat infant of me, peaceful, smiling radiantly and share all of this with me:
(I have tried writing it all down but only got a few things after our conversation.)
"Gio I have no anxiety in me. My relationship with my man flows SO naturally. He tells me I am the place he feels most safety in, that I lift him up when he is down, that any time he wants to laugh he just calls me. He tells me no-one sees him as a human except me."
"Gio he takes entire days off to be with me. As a man with two phones always on him, he shuts them off.
"This last week I saw him 10 times, Gio, 10 times!!! If we aren't together he is calling me 3-4 times a day to check in."
"He keeps telling me he can't get enough of me, that I am like oxygen for him. That I feel like his home."
"Gio he has become so open to me emotionally, fully open. I had NO IDEA he felt all of these things! He comes to me for everything!!! He tells me everything, shares everything with me. I can't believe it!!!"
Gio we are having SOOOO much fun and playing and joking, no relationship has EVER been this fun and relaxing!!"
"Gio, I didn't even know he was so sensitive in his heart! Gio he has become so doting, so loving, so affectionate and devoted. He now makes love to me in ways I had never experienced."
"He wants to take me on every business trip he has, tells me he doesn't want to be apart for long, so now he has me looking at his calendar 3 months ahead to plan for trips together."
"Gio he setup a trust fund for me and my children!!! This is serious!!! He says his number one goal is to make me rich and to take care of me all of my life so I never worry for anything again."
"Gio a relationship like this, it has gone so much deeper than someone I am just dating, it has become a soul bond."
"Gio, the other day I jokingly said to him after lunch, "You owe me dinner" and he said to me, "I owe you a life, I am going to make it my priority to make you the happiest woman on Earth."
"Gio he has introduced me to his children and all of his family! After dating for over a year, he never did that...this is serious!!!"
"Gio he tells me he wants to marry me ALL of the time, that I am the only woman for him, that he is done searching. The other day he introduced me to his business colleagues as his future wife!!!"
"Gio my life is blossoming on every front, I notice how my peace and femininity influences my business opportunities, my social network, my children, everything is blossoming!!!"
Now I knew this was going to happen and I am so happy I delivered. As soon as she learned to connect deeply with her own soul through love she would be able to create a powerfully, deep and abiding bond with his soul.
Here is the thing ladies- For a Man you are either WORK or You are HOME.
You are either in competition with his work for his energy and resources -"give me, give me, give me."
OR YOU are the place where energy is recharged on every level- body, mind, soul and heart.
Work or home.
Guess which one a man devotes his heart to?
Most men, including a lot of the men that come to me leading double lives, come home from work to work. Their partners and wives are in their masculine doing and place heavy expectations on their men, to perform, deliver.
There is no place to recharge, the relationship is no longer a sanctuary, she isn't home for him.
So he will have her for a time, he will try to please her for a time, but his heart will grow farther and farther away from her.
When you become HOME for a man, he never has to perform for you again, he is totally accepted, recharged and inspired. He is so deeply touched he never ever wants to lose you again.
This makes you a MAGNET for men. Men will jump through fierce obstacles to pursue you and have you in their lives. They will do anything. This is the KEY to the Law Of ATTRACTION.
I have seen this So many times, it just becomes a cause and effect.
Learn to Become HOME for His SOUL in Your Feminine Power
"You long for commitment- this is the fastest and the ONLY long lasting way." Giordana Toccaceli
Lastly June shared her biggest lesson from our work together, "Gio he said to me that he has never met anyone more radiant in his entire life, that it shocks him how much attention I get from people and others calling me beautiful and ray of sunshine. By trying and trying to get his attention and time I felt this distance between us and no matter what I did I couldn't get him to open up. His work was the priority more than anything, and that's how he's lived his entire life, and I knew I couldn't get through to him.
"By opening up my soul, stepping to a peaceful place where I don't second guess myself, by fully accepting myself, healing and tapping into my feminine radiance, he has given me his heart and absolutely opened up. Gio I OWE ALL OF THIS to YOU."
Becoming a Highly Desirable Woman and tapping into your feminine power ignites man heart and soul. You become so attractive he becomes addicted to you.
Would you like that to happen for you?
How different would your life become if you showed up in this way?
Because beautiful, what is more important than your love life and leading a life of love?
Sending you so much love,
P.S. One of the hardest things to do is to try and do the journey of finding and experiencing love alone- come join an AMAZING community of modern, smart, beautiful and empowered women just like you, who are supporting each other every day in this Free, Incredible Facebook Group- You will receive amazing free content, insights, sisterhood, participate in cool giveaways and MUCH, MUCH MORE....We'd love to have you, come join us? Just click below and instantly become a member of one of the newest and coolest women's groups on the scene. Love you, Gio