Author -- Giordana Toccaceli
One of the reasons I include deep inner work in my program with women is that one of the most powerful aspects of feminine presence is openness or open heartedness. Openness to receive love and to receive from a partner.
When we have layers and layers of fears, insecurities, deep, unresolved wounds we close off to the world as our soul tries (unsuccessfully) to nurse itself back to health.
You can't open to love, if you are bleeding out. You have to turn inwards and heal.
Otherwise you won't be seeking a partner, you will be searching for a bandage.
It is amazing the moment we identify in session with clients the deepest wound that has ruled in their lives and literally driven the way they relate to men.
Two this week were:
"I feel unwanted."
"I was never chosen."
Every single one of my female clients comes to me struggling with trying to find love yet unknowingly being closed off to it.
There are so many fears of intimacy, poor beliefs about men, patterns for trying to "get" love instead of knowing how to just "receive love"...and childhood wounds standing in the way...literally filling up the space entirely around them.
So they show up as masculine women and don't even realize it.
They try on identities like "the powerful Goddess" or 'the independant woman" without having gone into themselves to unearth their real identity.
Your feminine energy arises from your emotional safety inside. If you are in emotional survival due to unresolved wounds, you will be in masculine energy.
They have usually tried dating advice, strategies, tips on how to "get" men or "be feminine" in relationships OR they have tried to bypass this elephant in the room using tools as healing salves in ways that just bypass the real issue.
So they think they are open, but they are still pushing love away at every turn...by trying to control it, put heavy expectations on it, easily get addicted and attached to an image and not the actual man behind the image.
One of the most common breakthroughs my female clients have is that many of them are unable to climax with their partners...and yet when we heal ALL of that traumatic, anxious, contracted and fearful energy....and once they understand that they CAN trust themselves and they CAN trust love...
Their sexuality completely transforms and they are able to receive their partners and climax with them.
Women breakthrough to move from fear and codependence and broken patterns with men to being magnetic and irresistible. They begin to experience being passionately pursued by men around them or a renewed intensity of desire with the men they are with. Men feel effortlessly drawn to them.
Their hearts open, their bodies open, and they see their partners for the first time, through the eyes of real love.
The way they see men and understand them is transformed and they are able too receive them as men and receive the love they have for them.