Ladies, a man wants to feel that you are his escape. His escape from a world of pressure, a world of performance, image and roles…

The Masculine world.

He wants to escape into your world, the Feminine world you bring within you. The place his soul connects, is seen and his spirit recharges through amazing intimacy, sensual connection, free, deep soul friendship, attraction, fun, lightness, acceptance, etc.

If you go out on a date to relax, recharge, be known, get to know a beautiful soul and form intimate connection… the energy flows.

If you go to perform and impress, the energy is blocked, because you are making it all about you… (you being validated, being approved of, being "liked"... ."you, you, you.") When you are in this performance space, your soul is stifled. If your soul is stifled his soul will be stifled. All you'll have left then is physical chemistry or none of it—and you'll both leave emptier, instead of fuller.

Get to know him, and let the date itself give to both of you. Receive.

Photo Credit: mykukula.tumblr.com

Photo Credit: mykukula.tumblr.com

Ladies, while number one above all is healing and learning to truly love yourself (which is why I always teach inner work as it is 85% of the game with men.)

Here are some very basic ground rules for dating like a High Value Woman-' we teach many more in the Institute

→ Do not get infatuated with a man you've just met, after 1, 2, 3, 4 dates. Curb infatuation, look for true alignment.

→ Do not give a guy exclusivity prior to 5 weeks to 3 months until he has proven himself by consistently and lovingly investing in you and actually asked for it.

→ Learn to be a process dater, not an instant gratification (lead by desperation) dater.

→ Do not sleep with a guy prior to 5 - 8 weeks or under 5 dates, to filter out men who are minimal investment or not into the real you. Only sleep with a man who treats you like a Queen, is consistently investing in your life and moving the relationship forward. Quality men will wait (although not forever it differs per man and his values and beliefs).

→ Lean back, lean back, lean back.

→ Mirror a man's investment, do not over give, don't do more than he is doing or ever chase or pursue (if this is a habit, you need inner healing work asap).

→ Do not close all options with other men prior to being exclusive and really knowing a man.

→ Learn to show up radiant, real (being your beautiful, real self), high value, vulnerable and feminine “Man Magnet” do the work here and men will be flocking to you.

→ You can have soulmate feeling chemistry with a man, and it be NOT enough “because he isn't able to give you what you want, so look for alignment, not just feelings and chemistry”' otherwise soul-'shattering heartbreak.

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Don’t use threats to leave or end things, unless you are truly ready to walk away.

Ultimatums Don't Work

"He keeps talking to his exes and I've told him he better stop or else!"
"He hasn't called me in 2 days, when he does I am going to ignore his call and make him pay for it."
"He thinks he can get away with that? I am going to let him have it!"

Being harsh, forceful, aggressive, vengeful—will never work with a man (it doesn’t work on us either!). First of all it's forceful, it's trying to force him, which is masculine and disconnected. You can choose to accept or reject, stay or leave, but coming at him and telling him off is being his mother, not his muse and it just won't work— IT WILL BACKFIRE. This is a habit a lot of us women use to deal with our hurt and pain and to "GET" our way by controlling and forcing others. I get it, it's a habit we've learned in life to survive, but it’s not a habit that sustains partnership long term.

You can become a woman that is easy for a man to lose so much so he feels it and steps up his game. You do that by learning to value yourself, learning the art of attracting abundance in options of quality men (hint we teach you how) and the power of walking away from what isn't for you… however punishing him, reacting on him, passive aggressive behavior, threats and ultimatums do the opposite of what you want. You can address a situation with vulnerability and understanding and then choose to stay or leave.

Punishing a man will never work ladies, punitive behavior doesn’t inspire love. Feminine boundaries set through  inner strength coming from self esteem are the high value way to go.

Photo Credit: indiaearl.com

Photo Credit: indiaearl.com

If only someone threw us a “real bone” when it comes to learning how to actually do relationship. Relationship or the art of relating to each other is the prerequisite to succeeding at companionship, closeness, commitment, safety and excitement within intimate partnership.

How do you do intimacy?

How emotionally available are you really?

Can you respect your partner’s boundaries? Inspire respect yourself?

How do you communicate?

How do you show up whole instead of a “black hole” sucking out all the good inside your relationship?

We think feelings are all we need but we all know how quickly feelings change with unmet needs, objectification, boundary violation, misinterpretation and more.

Our brain loves to pine instead of grow. To long for instead of mature in Love. Fantasies of relationship or marriage feel good, but the real thing, done well, is so much better.

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